The Real Reason Aliens Are Flying Drones Over New Jersey: NY Pizza and Philly Cheesesteaks
Mystery finally solved as aliens explain they chose New Jersey, of all places, for their nightly flyovers.
In a revelation that has shocked both the scientific community and late-night pizza delivery drivers, it’s been uncovered that the mysterious drones spotted over North Jersey are not here for espionage or scientific exploration. No, these extraterrestrial visitors have a much more pressing mission: indulging in Earth’s finest culinary offerings—New York pizza and Philadelphia cheesesteaks.
The Galactic Gourmet’s Guide to Earth
Why North Jersey, you may ask? Well, it turns out that this unassuming region is the perfect launching pad for a gastronomic adventure. Positioned conveniently between New York and Philadelphia, North Jersey provides aliens with easy access to two of the most iconic food experiences our planet has to offer: greasy NY pizza and Philly cheesesteaks.
New York Pizza: The Universal Language
It’s no secret that New York pizza is a slice of heaven. Its thin crust, tangy sauce, and perfect cheese-to-topping ratio have long been admired by humans—and now, apparently, by beings from other galaxies. Reports suggest that aliens have been frequenting pizzerias under the cover of night, their drones hovering inconspicuously above as they order yet another large pepperoni.
Some eyewitnesses claim to have seen drones performing complex calculations over pizza ovens, possibly analyzing the optimal cheese melt. Could it be that extraterrestrial life forms are using our pizza as a benchmark for their own culinary creations? Only time will tell.
“Earth’s pizza is a marvel of simplicity and flavor. We must decode its secrets!” - Zenard Kolfenhamper, Alien Culinary Scientist
Philly Cheesesteaks: A Cosmic Comfort Food
Once their pizza cravings are satisfied, these interstellar diners head south to Philadelphia for a taste of the legendary cheesesteak. The combination of sizzling beef, melted cheese, and a soft roll has proven irresistible even to those from far-off star systems.
Local cheesesteak vendors have reported unusual activity, with drones often seen hovering patiently in line. Some speculate that the aliens are conducting taste tests to determine whether “wit” or “witout” mushrooms is superior. Regardless of their preference, it’s clear that Philly cheesesteaks have become a must-try item on the alien foodie bucket list.
“The cheesesteak is an enigma wrapped in deliciousness. We must bring this back to our home planet!” - Blorx, Intergalactic Food Critic
In addition to chowing down on cheesesteaks, some aliens have been seen loading up drones with bags of soft Philly pretzels and lots of extra mustard.
A few adventurous aliens even flew down to the D.C. area recently to try some of Maryland’s famous crab cakes.
The Bigger Picture: What This Means for Humanity
While some may worry about the implications of having alien visitors so close to home, others see this as an opportunity. With their newfound love for Earthly cuisine, perhaps these extraterrestrial tourists will help bridge the gap between our worlds through the universal language of food.
“We come in peace... and hunger. Your planet’s flavors are unrivaled in the cosmos.” - Glipnar, Chief Diplomat of the Andromeda Taste Exploration Team
What’s Next on the Alien Menu?
As these cosmic connoisseurs continue their culinary journey, we can only speculate on what’s next. Will they venture west for Chicago deep dish or head south for some Texas barbecue? Or zoom over to India for some authentic curry and vindaloo? One thing is certain: wherever there’s good food, these alien drones won’t be far behind.
About the Author:
Glenn “The Foodie” Palmer, not a real person, is a renowned expert in both UFO phenomena and local cuisine. When he’s not chasing down the latest alien drone sightings, you can find him sampling pizza and cheesesteaks to ensure our new extraterrestrial friends get only the best Earth has to offer.