LAFD Assistant Chief Kristine Larson Replaced for Lack of Diversity, Succeeded by Trans Wheelchair Therian

Fire department actively recruiting the blind and paralyzed for full representation.

In the wake of the 2025 Los Angeles mega-fires, the Los Angeles Fire Department (LAFD) has announced that Assistant Chief Kristine Larson, a black lesbian who spearheaded equity and DEI programs, has been replaced due to her lack of diversity. The decision came after an internal review found that Larson’s identity did not encompass the wide range of underrepresented communities within the department.

Larson, known for her statements such as “You want to see somebody that responds to your house, your emergency - whether it’s a medical call or a fire call - that looks like you,” has been succeeded by a groundbreaking hire: a “First Nations” trans wheelchair therian who identifies as a genderfluid squirrel.

The new Assistant Chief, Rowan Dances-With-Squirrels Oakley, who prefers to be addressed by their middle name and the pronouns “squirrel/self,” brings a fresh perspective to the LAFD.

In a recent interview, Dances-With-Squirrels stated, “As someone who identifies as both an indigenous trans individual and a squirrel, squirrel understands the importance of representation in emergency services. We need more first responders who can relate to the unique struggles faced by marginalized communities, such as those who identify as animals or use wheelchairs.”

The LAFD’s decision to replace Larson has been met with mixed reactions. Some have praised the move as a step towards greater inclusivity, while others have questioned the practicality of having a wheelchair-bound therian in a leadership position within the fire department.

One group that has been particularly vocal about the change is the quadriplegic community. Many quadriplegic activists have expressed their desire to be rescued by fellow quadriplegics in emergency situations. “It’s about understanding our lived experiences,” said one quadriplegic activist. “We want to know that the person saving us truly comprehends the challenges we face daily.”

To achieve greater equity within the fire department, Dances-With-Squirrels has been conducting outreach in the therian, disabled, and ghost communities to expand the diversity within the department.

Squirrel said: “In addition to special firefighter training for people with paralysis, we are actively searching new recruits who have been discriminated against previously over their death certificates. But the dead can still be useful and productive!”

Squirrel has also announced a “Blind Firefighters Initiative” to attract new people without sight to the LAFD team.

“We lost a lot of bigoted firefighters who refused covid shots - good riddance,” squirrel said. “This presents a unique opportunity to diversify our workforce and challenge the notion that firefighting is a sight-dependent profession. By recruiting blind firefighters, we can tap into their heightened senses of hearing, smell, and touch, which are invaluable assets in emergency situations. Moreover, this initiative will help us combat the systemic ableism that has long plagued the firefighting industry.”

However, not all blind people agree with the visionary program. “I’m blind. No, I don’t want to be running - excuse the phrase - blindly into a blazing fire to rescue kids and kittens. I don’t want anyone needlessly killed!” claimed one conservative blind influencer going by the moniker ChokeOnMyWoke. “I’m really OK being discriminated against in this instance.”

Some disabled critics also pointed out that Dances-With-Squirrels is not literally disabled but only identifies as a person living with a disability. “It’s a form of cultural appropriation,” user DisabledStillAbled posted on BlueSky. “By embracing a disabled identity without the lived experience of navigating the world with a congenital or acquired disability, Rowan appropriates the struggles faced by those whose identities are deeply rooted in their physical realities.”

Despite this controversy, Dances-With-Squirrels asserts that self’s belief in self’s disabled identity is a legitimate expression of self’s inner truth and a way to challenge ableist norms that marginalize and erase the experiences of individuals with diverse mobility journeys.

Despite the controversy over the new hire, the LAFD stands by its decision, asserting that diversity and representation are essential for fostering trust between first responders and the communities they serve.

When asked about potential concerns regarding the new Assistant Chief’s ability to perform physically demanding tasks, the department stated that accommodations would be made to ensure that all employees can contribute to their fullest potential. The LAFD’s newest accommodation: free peanuts for all squirrel-identifying firefighters, placed in a sealed safe-room to protect first responders with peanut allergies from stray peanut dust.

One of the new rules includes making husbands extricate themselves from fires. ‘The one thing my predecessor got right,” explained Dances-With-Squirrels, “is that it’s not our responsibility to carry able-bodied individuals out of fires they put themselves in. We are here to guide and support, but ultimately, ability-privileged people must learn to navigate their own way to safety.”

As the LAFD navigates this new chapter, one thing is certain: the department’s commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion remains unwavering. Only time will tell if this bold move will inspire other organizations to follow suit and prioritize representation above all else.